Entertainment

Jokes ,hope You Haven’t Herd All Before?

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
a. female: The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
b. male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
a. female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
b. male: A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 2 minutes.
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
a. female: Any part under a car’s hood.
b. male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.
ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
a. female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
b. male: Anything that can be done while drinking.
Is the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him…is he still wrong?
) why do people constantly return to the fridge in hopes something good to eat will appear?
Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.
4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afrais someone might clean them?
Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won’t hit them?
Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says in to the microphone… “Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.” A voice from near the front pierces the silence… “Well,stop f#cking clapping then!!”

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